How women who know their own worth behave in relationships. Is it good or bad to know your worth? What is the name of a person who knows his own worth
Self-esteem and self-love determine our peace of mind. Denying his own personality, a person cannot believe in his own strength and underestimates the level of claims. Analyze how well you feel about yourself.
Self-esteem, commonly referred to as self-esteem, and self-esteem are at the core of the personality. Our motivation, life goals and aspirations depend on the level of self-esteem.
To understand how well you feel about yourself, answer the question: "Do you accept yourself as you are?" Or have you created an unattainable image, understand that you are far from it, but do not even try to get closer to your ideal?
While the superego is vigorously jogging in the morning, eats balanced, reads smart books, never gets out of balance and does not know defeat in arguments, the ego mostly reclines on the couch and watches TV after returning from hateful work. In this situation, there is no need to talk about self-respect. It's another matter if a person behaves the way his ideal image could, or at least takes real steps in the right direction.
The conflict between ideal image and reality will hinder self-esteem until you begin to overcome natural laziness and engage in self-improvement. True, there is an easier way - give up the ideal image, lower the bar. The place of your ideal image will be taken by a lazy person and a slobber, and you will merge in a harmonious union. It is unlikely that you will be proud of yourself, but perhaps it will stop bothering you. I hope no one has the urge to relax and grunt?
How to cultivate self-esteem
So, self-respect grows if we gradually approach the ideal we have created, and decreases when we move away from it. Let's deal with the ideal image. Do you know him well? How do you match it? I propose to create your ideal portrait: what would we like to be if the circumstances were favorable?
We take a blank sheet of paper and write in a column the qualities that our ideal ego should have. We go through the list and note the qualities that we already possess. A lot of coincidences? The more there are, the higher the level of self-esteem should be. In other words, the closer the ideal, the more reason to respect yourself. By the way, the absolute coincidence of the ideal and the real indicates excessive self-confidence or low self-esteem.
The real and ideal I cannot coincide with an adequate assessment of ourselves, because then the conflict will disappear - the driving force that makes us move forward and improve. And without development, degradation begins - this is inevitable. The bridging gap between the ideal and the real self makes you grow and respect yourself. But what if the discrepancies are huge, but there is no strength to change anything?
Dealing with self-esteem
Psychologists say that first you need to understand how the false image has developed, since self-esteem with such an imbalance is clearly inadequate.
For example, Peter dreams of earning 20 thousand rubles a month without supervision from his boss. Fedor is making plans for an oceanfront bungalow and spiritual practices in Tibet. If in the first case there is an underestimated self-esteem, then in the second - ambitious goals and needs of a completely different plan. Of course, these people have very different ideas about themselves, apparently, the ways of achieving the goal will also be different.
The plans of a self-respecting person are quite feasible, although their implementation requires tension. But with distorted self-esteem, low or high, self-esteem, for the most part, is a farce. Equally far from true self-esteem is a person with an incomplete secondary education, imagining himself a president, and a certified philologist who works as a loader.
We recognize a person with dignity by their constant poise, benevolence and openness. A truly self-respecting person does not need to constantly put up cordons around his person, such a person is always ready for dialogue, easy to communicate. Another characteristic feature is a respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their age and status.
Unconditional self-respect
The second component of self-esteem is the basic attitude "I treat myself well (badly)." This belief does not depend on the opinions of others or on our real merits, it arises in the earliest childhood, when only the assessment of the parents matters. If this component prevails, the person treats himself with respect.
When you combine basic self-love and the feeling that you are approaching your own ideal image, self-esteem is confirmed by self-esteem. This is that happy occasion when a person becomes balanced, effective and quite satisfied with the general assessment of his life.
Distortions occur if, with real achievements, there is no emotional approval of oneself or, conversely, self-love is not supported by grounds for self-esteem. Feelings of underestimation and resentment towards life arise.
The embodiment of self-esteem is the lion in its natural habitat. Are there many who want to check how strong he is? In the same way, people feel how self-respect is developed in us. Few people think that it is unsuccessful or vulgar to joke with a person with developed self-esteem, or to manipulate him. Attempts, of course, are possible, but they are suppressed clearly and unequivocally. Individuals suffering from low self-esteem periodically find themselves in situations where others abuse their kindness, humiliate and interfere in personal spheres. Lack of self-esteem becomes a provocation for individuals prone to rudeness, which leads to a deepening of the belief: "I am not worthy."
How to learn to respect yourself
We cannot change those around us, so we will have to change ourselves. Learn to be proud of yourself and give yourself a reason to do so. One day you will notice how the inner position manifests itself in posture, gaze and facial expression. Rest assured, those around you will appreciate the change, and you will love the change.
Only you yourself can assess the state of your self-esteem and understand how much work lies ahead. We can give you some general advice to get you started.
Don't deny yourself
Accept yourself as you are. This is how parents love their children - of course, regardless of their appearance and character flaws. There are no ideal people, but there are people who are self-confident.
Evolve
If you love yourself, try to improve yourself: read a lot, broaden your horizons, work on yourself.
Learn to love yourself
We are not talking about selfishness, which is based on the satisfaction of exclusively one's own needs. But do not treat yourself like an enemy, allow yourself some liberties at least sometimes. Make a list of the pleasures you would like to indulge in. Perhaps you will be delighted with shopping or a bath with fragrant foam, or maybe you have long dreamed of just spending the whole weekend at home reading a book. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Be loyal to yourself
Treat yourself with tolerance, do not be angry with yourself if something did not work out right away, do not ruthlessly reproach for failures. Try again or more than once - and everything will definitely work out.
Find a job you like
It's hard to respect yourself if every morning you have to curse the alarm clock, trudge to the hated work and consider yourself a slave in the galleys. Change your profession if necessary, but do what you like. When you stop making the daily sacrifice, you will feel like a creator, and you will no longer have to think about self-respect.
"Census" of the environment
Analyze how pleasant you are to the people you interact with. If you know that there is a person with whom you are unpleasant, do your best to reduce contact to a minimum. You will get rid of negative emotions, and you will stop feeling remorse for being constantly annoyed.
Don't be fooled by empty promises
Learn to keep your promises. After promising yourself something, try to fulfill it - you will enjoy it, and at the same time increase your level of self-esteem.
Don't compare yourself to others.
You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else - you are an individual, worthy of respect and not needing role models. If someone, in your opinion, is worthy of imitation, evaluate his experience, analyze his actions, life principles. You can learn a lot from more successful people, but you don't have to compare yourself to them.
Let go of the past
Forget about your old grudges, forgive the offenders and wish them well. As you continually return to past events, the present passes by. You are missing out on opportunities by continuing an argument that has already ended. This is a waste of time and effort.
Appreciate yourself, and if you think that there is not enough reason for this, take up self-improvement. We cannot always change circumstances, but everyone can learn to live with dignity. Do not commit acts of which you will be ashamed, do not betray yourself and be honest with yourself - then you can respect yourself with full right.
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Family psychologists say that in order to be happy in a relationship, it is important to be strong both mentally and emotionally. Strong women have certain habits and behaviors. But what are these habits and how does the behavior of a strong woman differ from the behavior of everyone else?
site figured out this issue and shares with you information about 10 character traits inherent in women who are always happy in a relationship.
1. They don't let others confuse them.
An emotionally strong woman always ignores gossips, haters, and people who might be negative. Instead, she surrounds herself with kind and positive people to never lose her optimism. This happens both in life and in relationships.
2. They are not afraid to show their feelings.
Women who are always happy in relationships never hide their feelings. They do not avoid new relationships, they are not afraid to demonstrate their sympathy and confess their love. This is because they understand that it is very important to share their emotions, and it is better to confess and be rejected than to stand on the sidelines.
3. They refuse to be victims of circumstance
A woman who knows her own worth will never blame circumstances or make excuses. Instead, she will say everything as it is, even if it could lead to conflict. She will learn from her mistakes and will try to make sure that such an unpleasant situation does not recur in the future.
4. They know how to say "no"
Most people are afraid or reluctant to ask for help because they believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
Strong people understand what the results are worth, so they always bring the things they have started to the end. A strong woman is willing to work a little more than others, but she will not overload herself with work. The habit of working harder manifests itself not only in professional activities, but also in relationships.
7. They do not react to things that are beyond their control.
When you feel that your nerves are at the limit and you are about to break, ask yourself if your reaction will change this situation for the better and if it is worth all your nerves. If not, then you shouldn't worry about it.
: “10% of the events in our life are accidental and do not depend on us. 90% of events depend on how we react to what is happening. " It turns out that you yourself decide how your day goes by simply reacting correctly to events.
Both in relationships and in life, strong women do not waste their time and emotions on things that they cannot change. Indeed, it makes no sense to spoil your mood if it is impossible to influence the current situation.
8. They spend some time alone.
People do not know their worth and try to sell themselves cheaply to the first people they meet, but how reasonable is that? A short parable about the true value of a person. Know your worth!
Once a young man came to the Master and said:
“I came to you because I feel so pitiful and worthless that I don’t want to live. Everyone around me says that I am a loser, a muddler and an idiot. Please, Master, help me!
The master, glancing briefly at the young man, hastily replied:
- With ... with pleasure, Master, - he muttered, bitterly noting that he was once again relegated to the background.
“Okay,” said the Master and removed a small ring with a beautiful stone from his left little finger.
- Take your horse and ride to the market square! I urgently need to sell this ring to repay the debt. Try to charge more for it and never settle for a price lower than a gold coin! Download now and get back as soon as possible! The young man took the ring and rode away. Arriving at the market square, he began to offer the ring to the merchants, who at first looked at his goods with interest.
But as soon as they heard about the gold coin, they immediately lost all interest in the ring. Some laughed openly in his face, others simply turned away, and only one elderly merchant kindly explained to him that a gold coin is too high a price for such a ring and that only a copper coin, or at least a silver one, can be given for it.
Hearing the words of the old man, the young man was very upset, because he remembered the Master's order not to lower the price below the gold coin. Having walked around the entire market and offered the ring to a good hundred people, the young man saddled his horse again and returned back. Deeply discouraged by the failure, he entered the Master.
“Master, I could not carry out your instructions,” he said sadly. “In the best case, I could get a couple of silver coins for the ring, but you didn’t tell me to settle for less than a gold one!” And this ring is not worth so much.
- You just said very important words, son! - answered the Master. - Before trying to sell a ring, it would be nice to establish its true value! Well, who can do it better than a jeweler? Go to the jeweler and ask him how much he will offer us for the ring. Just no matter what he answers you, do not sell the ring, but return to me. The young man jumped on his horse again and went to the jeweler.
The jeweler examined the ring through a magnifying glass for a long time, then weighed it on a small scale and finally turned to the young man:
“Tell the Master that now I cannot give him more than fifty-eight gold coins. But if he gives me time, I'll buy the ring for seventy, given the urgency of the deal.
- Seventy coins ?! - the young man laughed happily, thanked the jeweler and rushed back at full speed.
“Sit down here,” said the Master, after listening to the lively story of the young man. And know, son, that you are this very ring. Precious and unique! And only a true expert can evaluate you. So why do you walk around the bazaar, expecting the first person you meet to do it?
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Know your worth and stop begging for love
In a dependent relationship, one partner is overly attached to the other. It gets too obsessive, and frankly, pathetic. But, pity is a bad feeling, especially in a relationship. It does not make your relationship stronger; rather, on the contrary, pity makes you want to run away as soon as possible. It is possible that in the description a little below you will recognize yourself and see your mistakes, admitting which you did not manage to build the healthy relationship that you really deserve.
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Be sure to study in additional articles how to find the line of pity for yourself and others, which will not allow to grow into insults and claims that turn into hysterics:
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There is no need to try to prove to your boyfriend that you are so good, that you cook well, that you know how to create coziness in the house. If it's true then believe me he himself will notice these things. The best way to show that you are worth something is to actually be worth something. If you are confident in yourself and know your worth, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. But if you need to beg for these compliments, then the problem is either in yourself or in your young man, who does not appreciate you, does not notice, or maybe he was never taught to give compliments. Another point - depending on why you need compliments: 1) to make sure that you are so good, that is, to assert yourself, or, for example, 2) to understand that your work was not in vain or 3) just so that there are notes of romance in the relationship, because when compliments are made to a woman, she feels that she is feminine and beautiful - this can be understood by random compliments from anywhere ...
In order for a girl to build a healthy, harmonious relationship, you need to know your worth and stop begging for love.
Your task is to make it come without much effort, not to wait and not to beg for confirmation of words, actions, actions and other things from your man.
Invest in yourself, develop, do something interesting, so what they wanted for a long time, but for some reason put it off for later. Try to make a new dish by taking a recipe, for example, from a cookbook or by downloading it on the Internet. You can also change image or do any other action that will allow you to improve and become better... It's much better than sitting around and waiting to be praised. Moreover, if at the moment you are doing what you always do, then you are unlikely to be praised for it. Maybe once or twice, yes, but it won't be permanent. This must be accepted, because when you forget to do the same in relation to others - you will also be forgiven by default - this is a fact - you drew a line (looked at the situation from both sides), a line in which you are self-sufficient without unnecessary praise and you do not have to remember and praise others endlessly for everything that is simply done for each other - with pleasure without violence.
Respect, love and value yourself this way what you are - but within you there is already a striving, albeit one step at a time, to improve yourself and your habits. If you are disrespectful to yourself, others will treat you in the same way. Do you want a change? Fine! Then start with yourself, with changes in your thoughts, principles, attitudes, priorities, image, skills, desires and other important things. Now on the Internet you can find many courses and trainings that return girls' faith in themselves and their strengths, teach them to respect and appreciate themselves, beloved, pamper from time to time. Why don't you learn from the experts? If this is what you really need, we invite you to trainings with the magazine's psychologist - Oksana Tumadin. The site has many video tutorials and articles with solutions to various situations that have helped many and many readers and listeners of the trainings. You can familiarize yourself with the list of her trainings and choose the one that suits your situation on the website
What does it mean to know your worth in our time? Does this mean that you should always reject imperfect men while waiting for a prince, or can you buy the most expensive and branded clothes?
You should not think so down to earth, because a woman's awareness of her own worth, in fact, is above all material values.
A worthy woman stands out for her modesty, nobility and restraint. She knows how to evoke respect and awe in the hearts of people.
Sounds exciting, but can any girl develop these qualities in herself? Fortunately, they are originally embedded in each of us. With a little effort, we are able to open up in a new way.
The following 10 rules will help you discover your own worth.
1. In conflicts, do not descend to the level of the “enemy” if he deliberately lost and only wants to emotionalize.
2. Do not gossip or insult in order to offend or offend - it always harms your reputation.
3. Do not question your beauty in waters. Only you and your inner state decide whether you are beautiful or not.
4. Be able to make mistakes and not lose heart after defeat. Remain a winner even if you lose.
5. Do not show yourself in a bad light, let everyone see you just the way you want to show yourself.
6. Do not let people do to you what you would not allow to do with you on a permanent basis.
7. Don't argue with men, find a different approach.
8. Be a real princess for your knight, he already has enough horses.
9. Do not rush to share with your friend a secret that you want to hide from the enemy - friendship can be volatile.
10. You are not mistaken, if you can still fix everything, do not forget about it ever!